


MY HEART'S AN ARTEFICE - [Eng]

by M_Mirajade



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Blackwatch Era, Blackwatch Genji Shimada, Blackwatch Jesse McCree, Blackwatch Reaper | Gabriel Reyes, F/M, Gency, Mental Breakdown, Mental Instability, Overwatch - Freeform, Post-Fall of Overwatch, Pre-Fall of Overwatch, Slow Burn, Slow Romance, Sojiro Shimada - Freeform, Translation, Young Angela "Mercy" Ziegler
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-24
Updated: 2020-06-09
Packaged: 2021-03-01 23:28:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,986
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23815399
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/M_Mirajade/pseuds/M_Mirajade
Summary: One-shot collection, in chronological order, featuring Angela Ziegler and Genji Shimada (immediately after becoming a cyborg).The stories will tell the relationship between the two since their first meeting.***https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4I7LREMFsdWQRu0L9lJc86?si=IE1dbhjhT_i5pp3jX0KCHg
Relationships: Genji Shimada/Angela "Mercy" Ziegler
Comments: 2
Kudos: 20





	1. HATE

**Author's Note:**

> Hi guys, this is my first time trying to translate something and it's been very hard, so sorry in advance ^^'  
> I hope to have done something decent and understandable by everybody.  
> If you want you can tell me where i got something wrong or where the sentences sounds weird.  
> Luv'ya all.

_Under the knife I surrendered_   
_The innocence yours to consume_   
_You cut it away_   
_And you filled me up with hate_   
_Into the silence you sent me_   
_Into the fire consumed_   
_You thought I'd forget_   
_But **it's always in my head**_   
_**(Monster - STARSET)** _

  
  
Was he dead?  
Was the pain gone?  
A pain born from his bleeding heart and dead in every wound of his body. A pain real and burning like the tears he wanted to cry while with animalistic desperation he tried to erase the memories stuck between his neurons.  
Those same bad memories ready to remind him his brother's madness, bearer of a demonic glance and bloodshot eyes. Miserable container of ideas and theories not his; a construct in the malevolent hands of those who had been able to manipulate and transform him into a monster.  
Hanzo.  
The only family left, now dead with him. At least he believed so while the perception of the cloth against his skin came back alive; he felt the softness, squeezing his numb fingers with little force, narrowing his eyes to admire hell and be able to boast of it, but what he saw was not a world of flames and ashes, as he would have thought, only white walls and smell of disinfectant.  
On him, however, he still perceived the smell of the temple and the blood ... that seemed not to want to abandon him as a carrier of his suffocating memories.  
He clearly heard the metallic noise of what it looked like cutlery on a tray He started to turn to find out the source of the slight noise, regretting it soon after when a stabbing twinge pierced him at the height of his left shoulder. He clenched his teeth while a crouched figure dressed in a lab coat turned his back to place classic surgical instruments in a metal tray.  
-Watas... - he tried to speak but managed to emit only cavernous and metallic sounds capable of alarming him: he could not hear air through his vocal cords, only a vibration shaking his larynx. When he lifted his left arm to feel the Adam's apple he widened his eyes, finding himself in front of a metal arm crossed by a series of crimson colored tubes.  
-Mr.Shimada- said the figure dressed in white, a woman with a surprised look.  
Genji had time to visualize his wheat-colored hair before perfectly assimilating the information that the vision of the metal arm was transmitting to him. He breathed heavily, alarmed, or at least he seemed to do it: his chest showed no signs of movement and the relief of the air filling his lungs was gone; the incessant and frenetic noise of a machine seemed to mark the course of his heart.  
-Please, calm down. Your body is not yet in a condition to withstand a possible panic attack- the woman said in an english with a slightly too pronounced accent.  
And if Genji was about to scream, she seemed to not care more than much helping him to rise better on the cushions behind his head and placing a mask on his face. The ninja soon resumed breathing at a controlled pace while what looked like the nurse continued to scrutinize him with topaz-colored eyes perfectly in tone with the blond hair. She looked like a girl however hid a seriousness so noticeable able to age her.  
-Mr.Shimada I am your doctor, Angela Ziegler. I know you are in a state of confusion and that you want answers to your questions. I can assure that you will receive them in due time- for Genji it was initially difficult to fully understand the sentence, so accustomed to his mother language.  
-Where am I? - he asked only with the same hoarse artificial voice - What am I doing here? - he continued  
\- We are in the Swiss headquarters of the Overwatch organization. You were saved just when it was believed you were dead -  
Genji's eyelids widened again when he heard that sentence as the images of the possible assassin presented themselves in front of him as a reversed movie whose protagonist was none other than Hanzo. The one who reduced him to a dying state; the one who had pierced him with a katana in his limbs before sticking it in his chest.  
He pulled back the blanket on his legs now robotic and cold prostheses, crossed by cables and pipes. What had he become? How had they reduced it?  
The doctor pressed the mask more insistently on the young ninja's face when she read the frightened features, starting to think of a way to inform him of the operations he had undergone to ensure his survival.  
Then someone knocked on the door and without even waiting for an answer came in.  
A man with broad shoulders, dark skin and a poorly groomed beard. Between his lips, parted in a grin, he held a cigarette that made the young doctor turn up her nose while the smell of disinfectant in the room was dampened by the acrid smell of smoke.  
-Mr. Reyes is asked to go out if ... –  
-I will be fast little girl- silenced her with a hand gesture -I see he's awake-  
Genji squeezed the young girl's wrist, forcing her to pull the mask away, while with an inquiring look he scrutinized the figure of the man, now closer to his bed. The latter did not stop looking at his now robotic body which made him, not a little, nervous.  
-Perfect- hissed Reyes removing the cigarette from his lips -The first time I agree with Morrison: this boy will be perfect for Blackwatch missions- the doctor, for her part, had clenched her fists firmly, forcing herself to look at the electrocardiogram screen - Try to do a good job with them - the man continued, ticking a finger on one robotic leg.  
Genji thought that if only he hadn't been in a hospital bed and with a new body he would have broken his jaw just to tear that smile away from his lips, but the last thing he felt he could do was walk.  
Reyes left and Angela held her breath to the sound of the question that came to his ears. "Was it you?" the ninja had asked, looking at his metallic hand, but received no answer.  
-Answer me- he said firmly and with a bit of anger in his tone.  
-It was the only way to save you-  
-I preferred to die if you had to reduce me to this state- silence.  
Angela had felt the sensation of a slap at heart level; Genji was gradually realizing that what he was experiencing was not a dream caused by too many comics during the night. It was reality: he was no more human and he was left alone, without a family, in an unknown country.  
He wanted to die again.

_ <https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4I7LREMFsdWQRu0L9lJc86?si=Vlfa6n5KQ1CcYtmXMmtsbA> _


	2. DOCTOR

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys, this is my first time trying to translate something and it's been very hard, so sorry in advance ^^'  
> I hope to have done something decent and understandable by everybody.  
> If you want you can tell me where i got something wrong or where the sentences sounds weird.  
> Luv'ya all.

_You're the pulse in my veins  
You're the war that I wage  
Can you change me?  
**Can you change me?  
**_

_**(** _ _**Monster - STARSET)** _

Angela Ziegler.  
Nanobiologist and doctor.  
The guardian angel with a tender heart shielded from composure.  
Indeed, a girl, a woman esteemed and recognized for her patience and talent. Skills that had allowed her to save and preserve lives over and over again, giving the last chance to those who never had one or who had sinned too much to redeem themselves.  
She walked through the corridors of the headquarters with a pride she knew how to wear as an overcoat, the same pride that seemed to slip away when she crossed the threshold of Genji Shimada's room.  
Reddish irises, impatient and impassive look as he turned three shurikens, shiny and sharp, between his fingers. The prostheses supported his not completely robotic torso, enhancing his tall and slender figure.  
Angela would never have admitted to finding him beautiful, and not because as a good doctor she knew that Genji was only a patient and that he had to stay, no. That same man kept in himself a roughness and a disdain that had often taken her breath away. She had learned that if only he had known that in the eyes of his doctor he was beautiful he would have laughed at her and screamed all the hatred fermented in those weeks in the Swiss quarter.  
\- Last time you were about to sever your arm - the doctor announced holding a classic medical records in her arms. She felt crossed from side to side by the crimson eyes of her patient, too busy playing with the three blades rather than answering her - How are you feeling today? - sighed the little blonde.  
-A walking dead-  
\- I didn’t mean that-  
Genji sat down on the dark leather armchair, the only piece of furniture in a spartan room with yellowish walls and the bed constantly unmade, waiting for the daily procedure that required a check by the young doctor. By now he had gotten used to that routine and Angela's small, soft hands on his body, or at least on the little remaining skin. Everytime she checked cables and prostheses, before moving on to control actions and reactions and he looked at her.  
He could not say whether with revulsion or admiration, but he looked at her without Angela being able to notice, carefully lingering on that child's face, the same face that had brought him back to life like a monster.  
The Swiss put her hands on the back of his neck, pressing a little higher up to the familiar snap of his faceplate, finding it in her hands, revealing the face of the ninja scratched and colored of purple at the level of the cheekbone.  
-What is this? - she asked alarmed, raising the man's chin to better see the wide hematoma that had taken possession of cheekbone and part of the left eye -How ... when did it happen? -  
-During the last mission- Genji replied dryly, squeezing the doctor's wrist to force her hand away from his face -I didn't think it would interest you- he continued, answering a possible question and grinning at the bewildered face of the blonde.  
-I am your doctor. How can you think... -  
-Exactly. My doctor, not my babysitter. The best you should do is mend cuts or prescribe pills, instead every day you are here to check if I’m still in a whole piece to be able to fix me - contempt, only contempt flourished from his lips, like poison - I can't stand it. Just go away because just looking at you makes me repudiate myself more and more-  
Angela would have been breathless, knowing herself. She would head back and then slam the door of the room, and then she would be devoured and chewed with the guilt, but not that time. With an austere, almost regal expression, she went to the mini fridge grabbing the first frozen food to place it with no small delicacy on the bruise of the ninja –You’re an idiot- and had pressed, perhaps receiving insults in Japanese -As your friend, I don't want something happens to you-.  
-You are not my friend, none of you are-  
The doctor slowly inhaled, looking at Genji's face. A scar on his right eyebrow, one on his lower lip, one across his cheek, yet Genji retained the charm that had constantly characterized him throughout his life.  
-Just because you have been abandoned does not mean that we will do it ... - she blushed, looking elsewhere, maybe for fear of the reaction that her patient would have had or for the four words she intended to pronounce –That I will do-  
-Friends, family, even brothers betray you- and he had experienced real betrayal on his skin, the one who knew how to flay you alive at the thought.

He recalled the simple and harmless moments of play with his brother; they had been children, united in soul and blood, and now calling themselves strangers seemed even an insult.  
He hate him.  
\- But I'm your doctor- Angela smiled, receiving a strange expression in response, but no longer dismissive and she seemed to be melting the thin layer of ice that had covered the heart of the ninja. And if there was a risk that Genji was always ready to take, it was to trust someone, even at the cost of suffering or feeling disappointed again, but if that risk bore the name of Angela Ziegler, maybe he would not have thought about that much; in any case _he would not have suffered with her as much as with Hanzo._

_ <https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4I7LREMFsdWQRu0L9lJc86?si=Vlfa6n5KQ1CcYtmXMmtsbA> _


	3. ANGEL

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys, this is my first time trying to translate something and it's been very hard, so sorry in advance ^^'  
> I hope to have done something decent and understandable by everybody.  
> If you want you can tell me where i got something wrong or where the sentences sounds weird.  
> Luv'ya all.

Please have mercy on me  
 **Take it easy on my heart**  
Even though you don't mean to hurt me  
You keep tearing me apart  
  
 **(Mercy - SHAWN MENDES)**

Winston smiled.  
A victorious and proud smile as his eyes roamed the training room, focusing on the quick and agile figure of cadet Lena Oxton.  
"I told you it would be perfect," he said, turning to the doctor in a white coat and high ponytail; in her hands a tablet; a gaze fixed on her patient who with unprecedented agility dodged all the blows by the cadet, spurring her with a single hand gesture to the attack.

\- Dr. Ziegler? - asked the gorilla placing his glasses on the animal face.  
-Yes, the time accelerator seems to work optimally- was Angela's only comment while Winston with an affirmative gesture of the head returned to his position between machinery and computer.  
Then the classic noise of the door opening made itself heard, loud and clear, revealing the tall and robust figure of Commander Jack Morrison. A man of unusual charm: angular face, candid hair and intense blue eyes.  
-How's it going? - the doors closed  
-Unfortunately we don't know much about her current state- Angela said, moving her gaze towards Lena's time accelerator. Bright and clear now marked Tracer's hours, time, life: an indefinite figure, drawn and detailed by the seconds -Supposing that no anomaly occurs, I think it is suitable for active service, but we must continue to monitor it to be sure-.  
The commander nodded, holding his chin between his fingers, turning to Winston for questions and clarifications to which Angela paid no attention. With her fingers she slid across the tablet screen, marking and writing surgery procedures; from time to time she looked up, fixed herself on the agile figure of Genji, and then returned to work on the device even more determined.  
  


***  
  


-I have some news- the doctor began the conversation with her stomach twisted in spasms and her heart pounding.  
Genji walked towards the showers with his head held high, the hot and labored breathing created clouds of condensed air in the cold, usual environment of Switzerland, and the sweat on his shoulder and chest seemed to dry with every step.

Angela could not understand if it was the headquarter temperature or ninja skin that bordered the temperature of a furnace to dry sweat drops.  
\- I want you to undergo surgery to install taste receptors on your tongue. I know you can no longer taste the flavors and I would like to help you in some way-  
The ninja stopped and turned slowly towards the swiss girl; she smiled genuinely and the ocean-colored irises seemed to swallow the pupil in their depth, making it look like an angelic being who came to reclaim pure souls.  
-When? - Genji asked; in his voice a badly hidden emotion.  
-Tomorrow. It may seem early but I want to make sure that ... -.  
-Thanks- and it was silence. Genji had been a gloomy man but it was not his nature: in that deathly silence he smiled making his marked face more beautiful, stealing a loud beat from Angela's heart and letting an unusual rosy color illuminate her cheeks.

-N ... nothing, I'm your doctor, it's my job-  
-Thank you for taking care of me, Dr. Ziegler- Genji seemed not to have heard her, yet had done so; he turned and resume his way to the showers when her voice hit him again.

-Genji- called him –Only Angela- and smiled.  
Genji clearly sensed pins under his skin.  
  


***  
  


His hands slipped again on the cybernetic body and one thing Genji was sure: he hated his body, there was nothing that made him appreciate it. Someone could have mentioned to him the good fortune of not feeling tired or pain in the muscles however the same pain that had made him stay whole days at home months before, he missed.

He stopped the flow of water, starting to look at his hands: his right hand was full of scars as a reminder of his life as a "human"; the left was only a mass of welds, scrap metal and pipes.  
His father would have told him that "It doesn't matter the container, but the content", so why couldn't he? Why couldn't he love himself as he always had? Perhaps because no one else would have done it, perhaps because in the past the reason for that pain and that body had been a refuge that had turned into hell.

He gritted his teeth.

_Hanzo had to pay._

If he thought he was alone, might as well be.

Then between a blink of an eye the angelic face of Dr. Ziegler filled his view.

Blonde hair, clear eyes, vital smile.  
He had hated her for what she had done to him, but only now he fully understand the girl's pure soul. She had wanted to save him at all costs and despite the arguments that had always taken over between them, she was always there, supporting him, improving him and ... appreciating him.  
Appreciate him?  
Maybe he shouldn't delude himself too much: why would a young woman, beautiful and intelligent, have to try something such as affection for him? A machine and a grumpy one; yet he had smiled when Angela patched him up or when he remained listening to the doctor's speeches with mock disinterest.

He adored the sound of her voice so limpid and human, nor did he love the delicate cadence and he would have spent whole days to hear her speak, but he preferred to observe her from afar, to study every attitude or vice, to be the perfect external spectator of that angel with golden wings.

He didn't deserve her.

The heart-stealing boy with disarming smiles and a reputation stained with lies and bad stuff.

The ninja understood this and told himself that, even if for a few moments, he could test Angela's affection then yes, he would become a man with the privilege of being able to have her by his side even if only for a short time.

__

_ <https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4I7LREMFsdWQRu0L9lJc86?si=Vlfa6n5KQ1CcYtmXMmtsbA> _


	4. SWEET

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys!  
> I hope to have done something decent and understandable by everybody.  
> If you want you can tell me where i got something wrong or where the sentences sounds weird.  
> Luv'ya all.

_I feel you keeping me alive  
You are my salvation  
 **Hold me, heal me, keep me near**  
 **(Salvation - SKILLET)**_  


-Ready? - was Angela's first question of the day. Since she had set foot in the room, she had started nervously biting her right index finger, waiting impatiently for the result of the last surgery.  
Genji was there, in a classic bed hospital, with a tray resting on his thighs and the face of a child who could not wait to unpack the Christmas presents. He took the chopsticks between his fingers and with the help of his free hand grabbed the small bowl of ramen, the first of that row of flavors that appeared in front of him.  
With skill, he took some noodles and meat, quivering at the idea of being able to feel the salty and spicy taste of that Japanese dish that had entranced him so much. The first bite was put in the mouth and, with the doctor's watchful gaze, he waited. He seemed to feel something vibrating, stirring with ecstasy ... his body sensed, recognized, even if the taste was not as strong and decisive as he had expected it.  
-So? - the anxiety was chewing the woman internally.  
-It's good- said the ninja, looking at her for the first time that day: she seemed so happy for him, so thoughtful and honest - But it's very ... muffled- he continued pondering the appropriate words. Angela with a quick gesture marked something on the tablet.  
–I hope it's temporary; a consequence of the readjustment of your body - she shifted her gaze to the next food. Coffee.  
Genji also tested that, letting the dark liquid take possession of his mouth, then swallowing with disgust perceiving a slight reflex of vomiting - Bitter - he coughed - Too much, it seems poison-  
\- Strange, I made sure I put a teaspoon of sugar in it –  
-The few times I drank coffee, I took it without. Trust me, it's disgusting- He saw her take another note on the tablet, an amused smile illuminated her face and Genji, unwittingly, found himself returning it. -I would say to move on to the next one-. Cotton candy;  
Angela had brought him some cotton candy for that tasting "test". Unusual.  
–Hey… it was the only highly sugary thing I found. You should be happy-  
-I never said otherwise - he grinned, peeling off a piece of that pastel pink sugar cloud and letting it melt on his tongue.  
 _Sweet._  
Vivid and strong, it had invaded his taste buds, he almost had goose bumps while the flavor revived other memories: him, his brother and his father; one of the very rare times when they had gone out together, not as “the higher” and “the descendants” of the Shimada clan, but as a father with his two children, under a cherry tree in the small park of Hanamura and three servings of cotton candy.  
-So? How is it?- Angela's voice trembled, as if she understood everything without him having to open his mouth.  
-Good, it's sweet, just like it should be-  
-Really?- asked the doctor with a strange glint in her eyes.  
-Yes, why?-  
Angela clearly sensed a hot flash going up through her spine - Yes ... well, I knew that you like sweets so I can only be happy with it - she blushed, looking at the bright screen on her hands, concentrating on the form to fill out.  
 *******  
When she set a foot in the headquarters a sigh of relief wandered beyond her lips, while the first muscle pains were felt under the great Valkyrie suit like fire under skin. The wings, still bright, had been slightly damaged, but nothing that could not resolve on her own without disturbing that grumpy Torbjorn.  
-I hope this revolt will end soon- Mercy let slip, in the eyes the tiredness of who had seen lives destroyed and dying survivors. Next to her, Lena smiled engaged in pulling off her glasses. -Don't worry, love, the revolt will soon become a bad memory-  
The doctor nodded, entering the base and clearly feeling the hustle and bustle that rarely characterized that place: something had happened, she knew.  
-Dr. Ziegler! - it was almost a scream: a young employee with light eyes ran breathlessly pointing with his index finger behind him- Doctor, we have wounded - he announced when he was in front of the young woman.  
-Wounded?-  
-The Blackwatch division suffered an attack-  
She did not know how, but Angela ran: her legs begged for mercy, her shoulders wanted to come off under the weight of the wings, yet she was running with her heart in her throat and a thought fixed like a spike.  
Anxiety and fear, she did not know whether for the alarm situation in which she was overwhelmed or for who could be injured or worse ... dying.  
Genji.  
She swallowed bitter saliva, passed the doors that led to the pavilion of the clandestine division, while the classic stench of tobacco invaded her nostrils. She spotted Gabriel Reyes, kneeling on the floor. He was preparing to tie a strip of cloth around an arm. Not his. -Don't think about it Jesse- he said in a tone too high, then turning to the doctor –Little girl- seemed relieved, perhaps he would have smiled at her if they weren't in that situation –I’m counting on you-  
Angela ignored the din which had invaded her, concentrating on the painful figure of Jesse McCree: the hat he often wore on his head was lying on the floor and the self-centered smile had vanished leaving space to a grimace of pain; maybe it had been her impression but she seemed to hear him whispering an "Angie", as the cowboy used to call her.  
McCree did not usually visit or be visited, but the few times he did, he presented himself with a gallant air of boast that always made Angela laugh, then getting lost in futile chatter.  
He had been a criminal, Angela knew, but one thing was certain: .Jesse McCree was good.  
-How long has he been in this state?- among the enormous amount of blood she managed to locate the deep vertical cut on the radius, almost glimpsed the bone. McCree had closed his eyes, gritted his teeth and let the young woman grab his left arm, now reduced to a piece of purplish flesh.  
-Too much- replied Reyes -I had to prevent him from bleeding- in the eyes the awareness of what would happen next.  
-Let's take it to the clinic. We have to hurry-  
 *******  
Taking off her coat, she was sure of one thing: she needed a long cold shower, at least to get rid of the sensation of Jesse's blood on her skin. Someone would have made fun of her if only she said that during the operation had felt strange, almost disgusted when Mccree's radius had become only a piece of meat left on a tray of surgery. Though she had seen worse… done worse.  
Reyes had informed her that the young Shimada had been injured, "A little thing" he had said while the blood of a wound on the cheekbone was dripping on his lips; between the dark irises he had stuck the moments lived moments before and Mercy had not asked him for anything, leaving him within the four walls of Jesse’s room.  
She should have visited the ninja, understood what literally meant Gabriel Reyes's "Little thing", but she was so tired and aching and the last thing she wanted was to show up without a minimum of strength.  
The showers were close and the classic silence made her guess that there was no one at that time of the night, but when she started to push the door, the handle slipped away from her hands revealing Genji, just got out of the shower, with the famous "Little thing" at the level of the neck and left shoulder. - My God - the blonde almost screamed - Are you okay? –  
The wound was discovered recently, starting a slow bleeding. Angela glanced quickly behind the cyborg figure, managing to see bloodstained bandages lying on the white tiles - I have to apply stitches - she surpassed the man directed towards the medikit usually placed in each room.  
-For a little cut?-  
-I don't think it's a little cut- she took needle and thread from the red box, then feeling a pressure on her wrists: Genji was looking at her as bewildered not letting go of the handshake  
-Dr. Ziegler, however ignorant it may be on the matter, it’s seriously nothing. I don't need stitches, trust me- he said to her as if he was talking to a capricious child, shortly after Angela understood that she had made a scene, an exaggerated reaction to what was actually a wound easily treatable with a bandage.  
All that anxiety accumulated in the clinic with an anesthetized patient to whom he had just removed an arm, replacing it with a cybernetic prosthesis.  
What if McCree hated her too?  
Maybe she could avoid amputation, after all Reyes always was exaggerated with big words and terms ... she had to be more careful ... she had to ...  
-Dr. Ziegler- and it was a whispered recall of Genji.  
Angela glimpsed the natural color of the irises beyond the reddish glow: hazelnut; Genji's eyes were hazel-colored.  
-Sorry, it was a stressful day- the Swiss said, replacing needle and thread with a simple bandage -Let yourself medicate –  
-I can do it alone –  
-Please- she looked so tired and not physically. Tired of seeing only deaths in those last times, tired of feeling herself as the disgrace for some and tired of never having dared in her life, because prevention had always been better than cure; and Genji had said nothing while taking a seat on a wooden bench next to the showers, only, he understood that something troubled his doctor.  
Angela was shaking as she expertly passed the bandage around his left shoulder. -Don't feel guilty- he stared the wet tiles -I know you did your best to save me-  
-I could do better- the doctor whispered, continuing the medication in a deathly silence.  
When she finished the idea of cooling off in the shower, was no longer to her liking, tired and stressed as she was she started to go to her room.  
-Goodnight Gen ... –  
-I'm sorry- the ninja interrupted her -I'm sorry I denigrated you. You certainly didn’t deserve it - standing as he was, he had to make the doctor raise her face slightly.  
-I know it wasn't your intention, after all- she smiled tired -You arrived here in the worst conditions, betrayed by someone I suppose you loved - she felt pierced by his gaze, but it was pleasant -Hanzo- she whispered -Who was he?-  
Although the cyborg had had many reasons for not answering that unwanted question, capable of making his human heart tremble, he did it -My brother. The only family I had after my father's death- clenched a hand.  
Angela didn't speak, only tried to imagine the pain of being betrayed by her own blood. She thought of her sister, she had not written to her for a long time and she almost felt guilty. During that time her last thought had been to send her an email.  
-Nobody deserves such pain- the cyborg continued looking away.  
Angela pressed a hand on his scarred cheek, caress one scar with circular movements of the thumb, feeling his patient, at first stiff, soften.  
She did not understand the reason of that thoughtless gesture,  
\- For what it's worth- she said - I would never betray you –  
Genji did not breathe when he understood the full meaning of those words, when with one arm surrounded the waist of the young woman, when he had pressed his needy lips on the perfect ones of the doctor.  
He trembled at the feeling of pure pleasure that a kiss was able to give him: he had missed a feeling so human and if at first he had been afraid of a possible refusal, he smiled when was the little blonde to deepen its essence, crushed against his body as if they had to fuse each other. Arguments and scoldings vanished like their warm breath in the freezing air.  
Angela was red in the face.  
Genji smiled: it had been _sweet_ , just as he liked it.  


_ [ https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4I7LREMFsdWQRu0L9lJc86?si=Vlfa6n5KQ1CcYtmXMmtsbA ](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4I7LREMFsdWQRu0L9lJc86?si=Vlfa6n5KQ1CcYtmXMmtsbA) _


	5. YOBISUTE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys!  
> I hope to have done something decent and understandable by everybody.  
> If you want you can tell me where i got something wrong or where the sentences sounds weird.  
> Luv'ya all.

**We're North, we're South** , I run my mouth  
You have your doubts (I don't blame ya)  
I'm weak, I'm tough, fuck up, make up  
Then words get rough (that's my nature)

**(Ain't That Why - R3HAB & KREWELLA)**

-I knew this was a bad idea-  
The sweatshirt fabric suffocated Genii’s voice. Eyes down and hands tucked in pocket: he looked like a child and not a twenty-seven years old man.  
Beside him, Angela sank her face in a blue-toned woolen scarf trying to resist the cold air of Zurich, which after one of the few snows, sported small gardens and cars covered in white.  
-People keep staring at me- continued the Shimada.  
In fact, people seemed to turn their bewildered gaze but nothing that verged on fear or disgust and if on the one hand Angela would have liked them to mistake Genii for an Omni and not ask questions on the other she would have wanted to scream at who had labeled him in that way.  
-They are not used to seeing a handsome face every day- she turned his gaze elsewhere, perceiving hot lava under the skin of her cheeks, biting her tongue immediately for having pronounced that cheeky sentence. It had been somewhat difficult to be able to formulate a sensible speech again after the events in the showers and now she risked ruining everything again.  
What her head was telling her?  
-Really? - the doctor was taken aback by that explicit question. She would have expected the usual embarrassed silence by the ninja or, worse, a harsh answer.  
-Y...yes, well it seems obvious to me- she said, understanding the meaning of the sentence immediately after –Wait, what I meant was… ... - ok no, she was panicking.  
Like when she forgot the tap on the tub open and found her house flooded. In short, the feeling was similar, only much more embarrassing.  
-Young ones! I didn't expect to see you around! - a pat on the back was able to make her stagger, she understood in a moment who the huge figure looming over her belonged.  
-Reinhardt- turning around, she found herself in front of the enormous size of the German man, wrapped in a coat in green tones. A few steps away, the commander Ana Amari sported the classic maternal smile that characterized her - What are you doing out of the base? - asked the Swiss.  
Ana lifted what looked like a plastic basket into the air - Supplies - she said - We ran out of coffee and peanut butter -.  
-Winston won't be happy-  
-Oh but Winston knows nothing, that's why we should hurry- she wrapped her arm around the soldier’s one pulling him towards the street that led to the nearest supermarket -See you at the headquarters, spend a good afternoon- greeted them with a winking gesture.  
She exhaled heavily: in an instant, Reinhardt had saved her from an embarrassing situation unwittingly, catapulting her into another one whose protagonist was nothing but silence. She had never been so shy in her life but Genii knew how to soften her like clay without wanting it and without saying anything, perhaps because of their past that tormented the thoughts of woman, in love with smiles and hidden laughter, a reflection of Genii who had been between the streets of Hanamura.  
-Hanamura is so calm, so different from here- almost trembled at the sound of his voice - It has always been a harmonious and lively place-  
They crossed the road, headed for a destination prescribed by Angela -It seems a nice place-.  
-It really would be if it didn't hide the worst- Genii looked at her for a moment, taking the time to decipher the bewildered expression, preferring to avoid a speech with dirty textures, and Angela clearly perceived his change of mood as she passed the peeling paint gate of the park.  
-You can tell me if you want- she said - Of Hanamura, about your clan ... about you-  
Genii squeezed the sweatshirt fabric in his hands, not far away he visualized what could have been a small dark-toned pond. Few were those who stopped to admire its thin layer of ice, only a few elders sat in one of the old benches watching the time go by and occasionally closing their eyes in a sleepy reflection.  
He thought of the words his doctor had just said.  
He had been a boy with an easy talk, the one who expected nothing but permission or the opportunity to speak or express himself. Now that boy seemed to have vanished, perhaps died in that temple with the smell of tea, leaving in his place what he had become.  
-I don't think these are your business, Dr. Ziegler- immediately afterwards he noticed the surly attitude he had assumed, feeling his guilt piercing his stomach -Sorry- damn him - Forgive me, really. I don't react very well when I talk about it-  
 **-** No, I’m sorry, I should have known that it is still an open wound- in the meantime the sky was starting to darken revealing a faded moon - Would you like to sit down? - Angela pointed to one of the benches in front of the frozen lake and, without waiting for an answer, she set off to take possession of it.  
That woman was so strange: she alternated the carefree attitudes with the serious and stubborn ones of a scientist in a perfect mix. A bit like him, but while in Angela the two behaviors coexisted, in Genii they seemed to fight. On one side there was the cyborg, the Omni, dark and ruthless on the other there was simply Genii, the sparrow, the boy looking for fun and pleasures. And who wanted to be in that moment?  
Who wanted to be in front of Angela Ziegler?  
\- It’s difficult to understand you- she said.  
Genii arched a dazed eyebrow - What do you mean?-  
-You are introverted and reluctant but at the same time you love to express yourself; you love being alone and yet you cannot help looking for company.  
You hate me but you don't reject any of my proposals ... you are a mystery, as if you wanted to curb your true self-  
He snorted amused by occupying a seat next to the blonde - It's not true that I hate you-  
Mercy's gaze seemed to mock him -We didn't get to introduce ourselves better-  
-We didn’t? I had to sweat to gain a minimum of trust- despite everything she smiled turning to the cyborg and being able to admire him without embarrassment or fear -But it doesn't matter, I'm happy to be your friend-  
Genii blushed and a familiar stomach ache affected him.  
Angela Ziegler was just like her name said: an angel with a bright crown and eyes so light as to border on the sky. So beautiful and so good, and he had been an idiot blinded by hatred for having treated her badly.  
He had the impression of feeling his lips again on hers, soft, eaten in some spots symbol of the stress to which she was usually subjected.  
The smile faded from the scientist's face when the sound of that "I'd like to kiss you" came loud and clear. Genii seemed somewhat hypnotized.  
-W ... what? - she stammered and yet in his heart she had not waited for anything else. She wanted those lips on hers, on her face, on her body and she hated the situation in which she found herself: Genii was his patient and a Blackwatch killer; his heart was covered with a mass of shadows, maybe his mind unstable and dangerous.  
Despite that, she wanted to dare, since the first day she had seen him, lying on a stretcher, covered in blood, pale as a corpse.  
The ninja blinked several times pretending a cough – Er… sorry, I remembered something not realizing that I was thinking aloud - he said offhand staring at a spot in front of him.  
An elder seemed to stare at him amused as if from that distance he could hear the discussion going on.  
-Something?-  
-Yes, something - he said to slow down his breath: maybe the blood would have circulated less towards his cheeks now hot as flints.  
-I guess how many girls you will have impressed saying only that sentence- the girl laughed in a low voice, convincing herself that she had to expect it from Genii: he used to get lost in memories and thoughts sometimes without realizing it.  
"Nobody" but luckily that word had not come out of the cyborg's mouth. As much as he might have had dozens of girls and boys, he never asked any of them for a kiss, he simply acted or they were the ones who claimed them.  
He liked kisses.  
From an early age he loved how much mystery, secret, passion and feeling were hidden in a touch of only lips  
-Dr. Ziegler ... -  
-I told you to call me Angela, I really prefer it- she shrugged her shoulders waiting for the Japanese man to finish the sentence.  
-In Japan calling someone by name is a very intimate gesture- he explained -I never happened to call someone without using adequate suffixes-  
Angela was baffled for a moment - I didn't know, sorry if I made you uncomfortable in any way - but Genii’s look was fiery, liquid as if he was plotting an insane idea.  
-Maybe I know how to fix it- he grinned and in a few seconds he had tasted again the taste of the Swiss lips. Determined to deepen that contact until a burning sensation would invade his lungs.  
He felt the tingle of Angela's woolen gloves on the back of his neck and a discomfort in his lower abdomen capable of awakening him from the feeling of trance in which he had fallen.  
Hands and body quivered, opening again to the sensation of ecstasy that they were reliving. He wanted Angela; she attracted him. Cyborg or not he was still a human made of flesh, blood and in his case metal. And his body wanted Angela Ziegler.  
Warm breaths condensed in the freezing air when they again had the opportunity to store air.  
The doctor's blood-colored lips seemed to call him back.  
-I confirm- the woman gasped –It’s very difficult to understand you- and they smiled amused by the situation that was gradually being created –Would you like hot chocolate? I know a place nearby- she continued nonchalantly, as if that “kiss steals breath” had never happened.  
-With pleasure ... Angela-

  
<https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4I7LREMFsdWQRu0L9lJc86?si=Vlfa6n5KQ1CcYtmXMmtsbA>


	6. PAIN

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys!  
> I hope to have done something decent and understandable by everybody.  
> If you want you can tell me where i got something wrong or where the sentences sounds weird.  
> Luv'ya all.

_I'd make you look, I'd make you lie  
I'd take the coldness from your eyes  
 **But you told me, if you love me  
Let it die**_

_**(Let it Die - STARSET)** _

  
That day the headquarters seemed to give off a cold air, almost distressing dared to think Angela as she hurriedly tried to follow the composed and austere figure of the new doctor of the Blackwatch division: Moira O'Deorain.  
Bored look and arms crossed behind her back she crossed the corridors of the central Switzerland not caring in the least the blonde-haired woman at her side, who could hardly keep her pace. Almost as if she were a useless gnat and, deep down Moira, thought so but badly she could camouflage her conceited expression as she listened to Angela speak.  
Moira was almost tempted to end what she called rambling with an acid comment on Mercy's professional figure but she simply ticked her shoes on the cold floor hoping they could cover the Swiss girl voice.  
Angela was tried several times to give badly the medical records of Blackwatch to the woman by her side but she said herself several times that she would not have blown up the professionalism for a scientist with somewhat minimal human sensitivity.  
The young doctor still remembered her irruption into Commander Morrison's office to discuss that bad idea about transferring Dr. O'Deorain to the division mentioned, but the man had uttered a word on how the transfer was a request from Gabriel Reyes and how, that transfer, would also benefit her; observing the enormous amount of work in research and with patients, to which she was subjected.  
-You heard what she's doing in her research, Morrison- she had remarked - How can you trust a woman who uses her patients as guinea pigs to ... to create murderers. I can't believe that ... –  
-Moira's job, as a Blackwatch doctor, will be that of the doctor, Angela. Your patients will not be used as guinea pigs; in any case, there is no evidence on what you are saying, right? - he said obviously, irritating Mercy.  
The mere memory of that discussion was capable of stirring a feeling of pure annoyance inside her, while she looked at the glacial figure of Moira, glancing on her purple-colored right hand as if it were a piece of dead flesh.  
Angela finished her speech giving the last information on Mccree's prosthetic arm before pass on a sore point: - I would like you to inform me from time to time about Genji Shimada's condition. His body seems stable but complications with thermoregulation systems and the prosthetics are not uncommon-.  
Moira smiled harshly, almost amused - Ziegler - uttered - I find romantic relationships with patients somewhat inappropriate. The fact that you want to camouflage everything behind the mask of the apprehensive medic is somewhat ... shabby, I dare say-  
Angela clearly felt anger coloring her face and shame compressing her stomach. She would have liked to answer her in the same tone but she knew that any sentence she would try to formulate would come out stammering and too emphatic.  
The doctor, therefore, limited herself to acting as her head had imposed her since when she had the great idea to present herself in Moira's studio armed with a fake smile: she crashed the medical records against the woman's chest with a -Congratulations for the transfer-

*******

Wood splinters.  
Here is what remained of the wooden silhouettes of the shooting range.  
In the training room committed to the clandestine division, a few lights were on, just enough for the ninja to glimpse his inanimate targets, in a penumbra such as to be distressing if Genji in that moment had a normal heart rate and relaxed muscles; but everything that seemed to build and control his being seemed to be clouded by a thick and dense feeling of anger, like fog. Among the irises, the furious face of his brother.  
Hanzo while drawing his sword.  
Hanzo while sinking the katana in his stomach and retracting it to inflict multitudes and incessant deep cuts on the skin.  
Hanzo while ripping his arm apart.  
Hanzo abandoning him there, in the temple, in his blood and his tears.  
Blood of his blood.  
His mind seemed to produce only poisonous thoughts and scenes, as if they had turned against him and tried to make him reach the peak of madness. He wanted to scream, open his skull in two and uproot every memory, every sensation and feeling with his bare hands.  
He really wanted to be just a bunch of circuits, for the first time after dealing with his body.  
Why?  
Why had his brother gone that far?  
Why had his father died, leaving everything in Hanzo’s hand?  
If only Sojiro could have lived longer, he would still be human, his mind would be crystalline and his brother would not be a monster that he would have wanted to take out with his own hands at all costs. And he remembered his father: his faded black hair, his thick eyebrows and his decisive eye shape like Hanzo's.  
Genji pressed his fingers firmly on his temples, gritting his teeth in an angry grimace ... he needed a glass of water, but the way to the HQ's kitchen seemed long enough to make him fall back into that chasm of memories.  
When he grabbed a glass in the faint light of the kitchen he had the opportunity to see how much he was actually trembling, he let out a scream beating the glass badly on the kitchen counter, making it explode in large glass shards.  
He closed his eyes.  
He had to calm down or he would have gone mad.  
The faces of his family repeated inside his head.  
He seemed to see his mother holding him close, so beautiful and peaceful with thin lips that reminded him so much of his.  
-Genji- and finally the memories faded, paralyzing him. Angela's voice stunned him; he did not want to turn around.  
Then the girl's hand rested delicately on his, on the still alive one, made of flesh and blood and seemed to transfer a calmness to his skin that he had yearned in those hours of solitude with his mind.  
-I am with you- the doctor continued and Genji found himself sobbing, unscrupulous killer, against the girl's shoulder. He felt her hand caress his hair and her heart beats with his tears, with unheard of slowness.  
He was truly an angel ... his angel.  
He looked at her in those cerulean eyes, shiny as pearls and let himself be caressed on those scars he had hated to see infinite times in front of the mirror.

*******

At the umpteenth broken nail, Angela snorted impatiently. The view that gave the headquarters, towards the outside, was marked with decision in her mind, so much to induce her to imagine the view of the Orca in the dark sky, about to land.  
The news of the Blackwatch attack in Venice had shaken her so much that she no longer allowed her to continue her research, left on a PC that had decided to go off.  
From that moment everything would go down the drain, right?  
People now knew and Overwatch would be thrown into the shadows.  
A weight seemed to have landed on her heart, on her limbs, and she thought of Ana and Jack, who had spent years, time and relationships building what has now become Overwatch. She could not, she did not want to imagine the pain they would experience in the days that followed.  
She still remembered the dull sound of Jack's fist on the metal of a table surrounded by those who had turned out to be a family to her. Not even Reinhardt had dared to play down the situation as usual and that anguish look on Lena's face was out of tune, she said to herself.  
Then, in an instant, she found herself out against the cold, under a black clouded sky.  
The Orca that landed and Commander Morrison with a shadow of anger on his face, behind him Ana remained on alert ready to stop the worst.  
When Reyes left the ship, he found himself briefly on the ground, with a bruised cheek and eyes full of fury, but he neither spoke nor answered the punch dealt by the commander... he knew he had no excuses. At his side Jesse tried to hide the trembling, looking away from that scene that Moira would have called pathetic.  
Genji's gaze was calm, far too much. The gaze of someone who had resigned himself to his destiny and from which he constantly drew justification.  
Angela felt the disappointment freeze her veins, not understanding the reason. Even when she followed him down the cold corridor, expecting an explanation that, in her eyes, would show him as a victim, but none of this seemed to happen and Genji's steps became more and more relaxed.  
The lights were dim at that point of the corridor, the bulbs almost burned out.  
-You don't realize what you've done, do you? - she asked him, stopping the ninja's ride, who just turned his head slightly towards her direction - Yes - Angela continued - Yes, you know. Yet you don't care. How can you remain so ... so impassive in front of the awareness of having killed, again- she marked the last two words.  
Genji's eyes shone with a particularly vibrant red, his eyebrows folded in a furious grimace -I am an assassin- he said obvious.  
-No, you're not! - the woman shouted at him, and it was the first time. The echo of her wounded voice was tearing apart the cyborg - Yours is just a damned excuse - she visibly trembled and perhaps it was the firmness with which she said herself to not cry - You blame your past, your family, your clan because do you think it's the only way to justify yourself from what you've become-  
-Well, how would you have reacted if you had woken up a pile of scrap?- he asked poisonous.  
Angela was silent.  
-In any case it doesn't change what I am- the ninja continued - A murderer. I've always been trained to become this, get over it. You ... - and seemed to freeze for an instant -You also let me become this-  
Mercy seemed to see it blurry -I saved your life- she said almost sobbing. Her throat went up in flames.  
-Then deal with this- he started to leave but the feeling of Angela's arms around his body stopped him.  
He clearly sensed the doctor's forehead resting between his shoulder blades and those sobs, which he had so much feared to hear, coming out of her lips.  
After all, he had said those words.  
The smell of the girl came straight to his nostrils, something that had always reminded him of citrus fruits.  
He would have liked to turn around, apologize, hold her close and tell her how much he was sorry about everything, but he would have been hypocritical, wouldn't he?  
How could give her words that meant a well-being that did not exist, which he struggled to achieve in the conditions his conscience was in. Conscience that seemed to be silent only when he acted like his brother would have liked him to be.  
-Please, Genji- Angela stated - You are better than that, believe me. You're good, unique, I just wish you could chase away your torments because they don't make you what you are- she sighed, biting her lips as if to stop the flow of thoughts that came to life between her lips -I love you- she said swallowing a sadness that had begun to take shape.  
There, under the dim light of a light bulb about to burn, she had said something she had tried to deny firmly on the days when Genji's presence, laughter and fear had become pieces of her heart.  
She felt the cyborg's hands on hers, and her grip failing.  
"You try too hard to see the good where it doesn't exist," Genji said, adding her to the voice of his regrets.  
She, who knew how to mitigate that malignity that did not belong to him, she, whose looks knew how to soothe those wounds that would never go away.  
And he went away carrying with him the fragments of a broken heart.  
  
 _<https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4I7LREMFsdWQRu0L9lJc86?si=Vlfa6n5KQ1CcYtmXMmtsbA>_


End file.
